Neglected Blog...

Feb 4th, 2008

I should be ashamed of myself for letting 9months go by without a blog; i should... yet I'm not.

Here, in honor of blogs past, the top nine observations weighing & consuming my A.D.D. madula oblingata:

9.) Brittish Humor is profoundly more creative than ours: i.e. - The British and orginal "The Office", Monty Python and the original three Guy Ritchie Movies

8.) Youtube coule be the worst and best invention of all time

7.) Will Ferrell could take a poo on a paper plate, film said poo and garuntee 20 mil opening weekend.

6.) If you have enough money and following of people with the intuition of sheep you can start your own church regardless of theology or call. I know everyone is expecting me to name church's in typical wade form - sorry.

5.) Just because someone is a Christian doesn't mean they are the best choice for the Presidency

4.) Marriage indeed gets better everyday - I don't think my wife even reads this blog, so that can't be consiered sucking up - just truth

3.) Teenagers are dealing with more than my 15 year old heathen mind could have conceived 15 years ago.

2.) Grace has an infinite multitude of humbling layers

1.) If people could divorce religion and church from Christ - a radical reformation would take place.

out.

Proud to be a Houstonian

Even though I have lived here for 22 years, I have never been a huge fan of Houston...until now. Way to go H-town, Dallas can't hold us!

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/R/ROAD_RAGE_RANKINGS?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2007-05-15-05-30-22

The Wendell Baker Story trailer

Ok, Luke wilson might have just brought himself back.

Blonde Ambition Trailer

Proof that Luke Wilson has sold his soul to the devil. Respect level for the Wilsons at a whole new low.

Old man river...

I'm an old man.
I have been told this since I was about ten years old. I'm not too sure exactly what it was about me when I was ten that brought about such accusations, but I'm very aware of what qualifies me as a senior citizen now. Primarily my opinions, interests and general disdain for pop culture. This came up again yesterday in a conversation I was having with a guy from my church. He told me I have "older interests" - translation: Old Fart.

So, in honor of all old young people, the top ten reasons I'm an old man.

10. I listen to NPR religiously

9. I am annoyed by every show on MTV

8. I loathe every show on VH1

7. Given the choice, I will pick an independent movie over a summer blockbuster 9 out of 10

times

6. I think the majority of rap is ignorant and inane - jay-Z, kanye, nas and the roots excluded

5. The West Wing is the best 1 hour drama ever on aired on TV

4. 98% of top 40 DJ's need to be banished to a desolate area and stored in cargo containers like

the obsolete robots in I-Robot

3. If you're 16 and you don't have a job, you're lazy

2. Hot Topic is ridiculous

1. The church is going soft

I'm Going to E-rock tonight for a couple nights of camping. Stay tuned Monday for interesting stories and injury reports

I was watching Letterman last night (Leno make me want to cut my own Achilles heel with a spork from Popeye's) with my friend Colin and Toby McGuire was on. Am I the only one who thinks this guy couldn't seem more disinterested if he tired? I rise above berating someones physical appearance, but Colin wasn't, and since I'm not above transcribing what other people recognize, here are his observations:

Small mouth, weak handshake and middle management haircut.

Colin's a jerk.

What the?

So I have definitely been neglecting the blog. But, I'm back...in black.

Several months ago I wrote about Sally and I looking at houses. We put that on hold for a few months then jumped back in head first at the end of March. After looking at 20 houses in person and 200 online we found "our house".

We close May 17th, and we'll start moving in that weekend. Here's a few more for you to ooh and ahh over.

My friend Kevin, in all of his awesomeness showed me the greatest t-shirt company ever. But since I'm selfish and don't want anyone to have the same t-shirts as me, you only get to see samples, no website for you! Ok, I had a change of heart, if you can spot the website it's free game. It'll be like Where's Waldo.

Out.

You don't always die from tobacco.

Sweet Lord of Hosts

Everybody needs somebody

Just a short update...

I blogged about my boy Bao Xishun saving the lives of dying dolphins back on December 27th. I also mentioned that the 7 foot 9 inch "Don Juan" was looking for a wife. Sorry ladies, he has been roped, hog tied and put out to pasture. A few days ago Bao married 5 foot 6 inch Xia Shujian. We now know there is someone for everyone.

I mean everyone...

aaaaawwwww

New Blog Motivation

I think I am going to need to start laying down a blog on a more regular basis. If nothing else, a hodgepodge of thougts, regurgitated readings and ridiculos expereinces; if for no other reason than to keep my wife from having to hear ALL of my absurd rantings on all of the stuff I inhale throughout the day.

Here are a few things that have risen to the top with me in the past few weeks.

First off, a self centered chart topper:

I spend way too much time in my own head. I don't know how many people stll watch Scrubs,

I think it's beginging to fade off the radar. I still dig it, but I seem to have an un canny knack to build an affinity for shows that are doomed for cancelation. i.e. Studio 60, 4 Kings and Boomtown

If you can relate > http://www.brilliantbutcanceled.com/

All that to say, on Scrubs, half of the show is Zach Braff's inner monologue. I feel like that's me. Not so much with the hip moosed hair and awkwardly big lips, but I live in my head. I'm not sure what that's all about. If I read something engaging, I will walk circles around it in my head for hours. I do that with conversations as well. I don't have an obsessive desire to go back and change what I did or didn't say, I just run the replay. Now I'm trying to figure out why I felt the need to write this?

Back story on my second life revelation:

John Piper hosts an annual Pastors conference in Minnesota each year. I have never been, and now that it has become the trendy thing to do, not sure if I can force my anti commonplace/rebellious/cynical/jaded ego to make the pilgrimage. I have a hard enough time reading his books. Not because the man isn't a humble genius and his understanding and interpretation of scripture blows my freaking skirt up, but because I wanna vomit due to the fact that the 20 something ministry types sip coffee and regurgitate his personally theology like it's their own then attempt to judge me because I won't take part in that thrill a minute keebler elf mental giant exchange. I'm a jerk. Anyway, I have allowed myself to sidetrack.....imagine that.

Piper preaches biographical sermons at the conference, and before Amazing Grace came out I listened to his sermon on William Wilberforce. Piper justly refers to Wilberforce as a "Big Soul". I have been camped out with that term for over a month now. I let that term marinate as I read through the book of Hebrews. The author of Hebrews lists of their hall of Fame of big souls in Hebrews 11.

As I read the stories of these big souls, taught my students the 3 references to Abraham in the hall of faith and marveled at Moses and Noah, I have been burdened to surround myself with Big Souls.

I sat with Uncle in New Mexico two weeks ago whose body is rapidly giving way to cancer overrunning his body . I actually sat between my dad and my uncle, who is my dad's oldest brother. I listened as they told stories of growing up in the depression with no running water, electricity or assurance of the next meal. Memories of picking cotton at the age of 6, and CONSTANT references to the grace, deliverance, sovereignty and power of God.

Dan Collier (My Dad) Home Collier (My Uncle)

Big Souls.

Where to start

It's been two weeks since my last blog, which if I did this for a living would translate to iminate termination. But thankfully- this is not my job. However, I will dedicate this blog to people who do a crack job!

James Cameron:

Here's to you. You made one "blockbuster" movie, that in my humble opinion was criminally overhyped. But, to your credit you made enough money and celebrity to spend the past 10 years convincing companies to fund your Steve Zissou like mini sub expeditions. Don't worry, we won't leave out your executive producer title for the monumental FBI/Surfer Bank Robber masterpiece Point Break. Now, however, you have reached you panicle. You have indisputable evidence that Jesus and Mary were married, AND they had a son. Thanks James - I am so "convinced " ( they don't have a sarcastic font, or I would have used it there.) http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23386857-details/I

Louis Farrakhan

You crazy crazy S.O.B.!

I don't have one item in particular to salute you for, jut simply your compilation of K-razy reversed racism rants, anti goverenment propaganda, and delicious bow ties! You're stepping down as the Leader of The Nation of Islam this week...you will be missed....I'm assuming.

In the Category of most predictable Train Wreck:

Britany Spears - I don't even have to write anything - the G.I> Jane pic says it all.

Daniel Radcliffe : Way to traumatize children by transforming from sweet innocent wizard in the Harry Potter films to Horse "Loving" dude on stage in Eguus.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yikes.

Everybody's Gotta Pay

Big weekend. Manning is golden. Golden.

I don't care if you think he is too hyped. One, if you believe that, you're a moron. Two, hype or no hype, one of the most amazing comebacks ever. I think Urlacher and the Chicago D can be the best in the NFL but they are going to get stomped.

I filled up this morning for $1.96 a gallon. Thanks Kroger Plus Card! When I first started driving gas was 86 cents a gallon at the Texaco by our house. My truck had a 15 gallon tank and got crazy gas mileage. My 30 hour work week check from K-mart went crazy far then. I can't imagine people grinding away for minimum wage now.

I have been thinking about my first car today. Here's how that story goes.

My brother turned 16 in 1986. After he got his license (in our house you couldn't take drivers ed until you had already turned 16, and you had to take it through the high school - complete with the driving simulator located in the single wide trailer behind the school) he got a 84 Toyota Tacoma.

Pretty Marty McFly.

Two years later, my sister turns 16. She suffers through the film strip simulator via the mildew fragranced trailer. Her reward: The sweet 91 Ford Festiva dream machine.

Which now retails for a pocket busting $490-$650. Should have held on to that beast; it could turn a bigger prophet than Desert Storm Trading Cards - someone stole my Wolf Blitzer. It unfortunately met it's demise through the back end of a Chevy 3500 diesel monster that folded the Festiva up like an accordion. I didn't turn 16 for another 5 years. What happened in those five years you ask? After my sisters Festiva met an ugly and untimely end, she got a used Nissan Sentra. In all fairness, it wasn't a good car to start out with, but the electrical system eventually burnt up and was no more. Now in college, dear old dad got her a turquoise Pontiac Lamanse, which was a product of the "How about all auto makers make really bad hatchbacks" trend. After she ran it into the ground, she eventually inherited my parents Eddie Bower Ford Explorer. From there she was on her own to purchase transportation. My brother drove the Tacoma into the early years of college where he decided it wasn't necessary to change the oil....ever; which subsequently sent his engine to the junk yard in the sky. My folks gave him their old sedan which he drove several years before eventually being on his own and buying his own car.

Why did I feel the need to tell you all of this? When I was 16, I assumed the trend of gifting a car to the 16 year old child would continue with the youngest son. I had several back issues of "Auto Trader" and had highlighted several items of interest for my dad. I was informed that my option for a vehicle was that I could buy my dad's truck from him. Yea, that's right, BUY his OLD truck. I wasn't as put off about having to buy my own car, I have always been pretty self sufficient, but the fact I had no choice of what to buy. My first taste of Communism. Brutal. So from 94-98 I drove the Blue Barron. 1989 Chevy s-10

Jealous?

Two blogs in one week...who knew?

As if I needed another reason to loose respect for/hate/wish a painful death of wrathful flying monkeys on Barry Bonds. If they are gonna black ball McGuireand the continue to let this moron play... http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/487795p-410640c.html - I might have to boycott pro baseball and find refuge in the college ranks like I have with football and basketball.

In other news. Looks like the marathon dream is dead....at least for now. Unbeknownst to most everyone, I had been training for the Austin marathon. But, it seems I have developed a premature type of tendon and joint arthritis. So I have cut the running in half and started swimming and biking and lifting again this week. Sprint Triathlon season starts back up again this spring, so I think that might be the new adventure. I have been looking into training regiments and this Korean sub-zero training seems to be the most time to result beneficial.

I'm on it.

Ever have a story to tell that is so ridiculous you just can't can't paraphrase?

A group of us left Saturday the 30th for a ski trip in Breckenridge. The thought was, if we leave Dallas early enough (5am), we can get checked into our condo, go grocery shopping and pick up our equipment rentals that night, so we would be good to go first thing the next morning.

We stopped in Amarillo for lunch (we ate at Subway, although the 72 ounce steak did sound appealing). and we were making record time, but as we got just North of Amarillo we started seeing signs that the road was closed due to weather about 90 miles north of where we were. My friend Jimmy and his Fiance where already in Colorado and sitting in front of a computer, so I designated him Goose to my Maverick. He would periodically call me with updated road reports/closures from the D.O.T. as I was leading the caravan of death through the frozen tundra. For about two hours we were flying north west, attempting to swing around the road closures while making northern progress. We then were thrown a dirty curve ball. We had traveled so far into the middle of nowhere that we were left with only one option to head north. It was "closed". We decided that closed was relative and we headed down the "closed" road.
I was on less than a quarter tank of gas, no problem since the next town was in 19 miles, and the first two miles of closed road were in better condition than the open roads we took to get this far. Within the next mile the road turned AWFUL. More awful than that..the next town didn't exist, then town that was 10 miles past that, Amistad, wasn't as much of a town as it was a cultish compound consisting of a Methodist church, a 1a high school and no gas station. Excellent. We reached the point of no return, were forced to turn around by the snow plow company, and found refuge with a farmer named Chuck. This all had the makings of incredible horror movie. Chuck ended up being one of the nicest men I have ever met. Even when we knocked on his door during an ice storm. He found an old hose in his hog barn, helped us syphon gas from Chris' truck into mine. We thanked him for his time and headed back the way we came. There was a hotel in the town we came from, where we could bunker down for the night and wait out the storm. But oh no my friend, we were on a quest. So we got the latest road reports and spent the next 6 hours zig zagging through Texas and New Mexico. At 11 pm, after MANY attempts to make our way onto I-25 and becoming honorary members of the tucker sub-culture via a Love's Truck Stop, we got locked down in Las Vegas. No, not that Vegas, Las Vegas New Mexico. No hotels to be had by that time, so we found uncomfortable cots and grumpy old volunteers at

the make shift Red Cross shelter in the local elementary school.

The story gets exceedingly less interesting from 4 am the next morning on. They did have delecious Daylight Donuts

for us as we headed out to find open highways.

Highlights of the rest of the trip: my friend Chris fell so hard he had to be taken down the mountain by ski patrol on one of those rad little sleds and we watched Boise State amazingly upset Oklahoma.

I hope next years trip provides a little excitement.