Mcfly

I'm a nerd.

And that fact should probably bother me, yet it does not. I'm almost 30, my wife is wayyyyyyy too hot to be married to me, my friends are slightly hipper than me and still hang out with me, so I have nobody left to impress. Plus, I don't have the energy to fake it. So, how did I come to the conclusion that I'm a nerd? I'm usually asleep by 9:30pm, and up at 5am - and I like it that way.The majority of my TV exposure revolves around mass consumptions of the History Channel,Discovery, National Geographic Channel and PBS. I recently got satellite radio thanks to my super in-laws, and I picked Sirius over XM because of the NPR selections. I'm only scraping the surface of my dorkery. What's the point? There is a show showcased on NPR called"This I Believe" If you haven't gotten down on this, you need to.

I was listening to some archives this morning, and I started to think, other than my theological convictions that are intertwined within my life, what do I believe?

1.) I believe that skinny jeans are the dumbest thing I have ever seen. I don't care who you are and/or how you are built, everyone looks like Danny Divito playing the Penguin in Batman

2.) Congress needs to pass a law banning any more reality television. Sweet Lord of Hosts, NO MORE!!!!!

3.) There needs to be a 60 day waiting period on:

a.) Naming your child. Before the name becomes valid, it has to be put before a panel of 3rd grade boys, they will tell you the truth, and the truth is "Ruger" is not a good name for a boy and naming your daughter "Baby" will insure that her career involves dancing on or around a pole.

b.) Tattoos. Do you really need the Chinese symbol for respect on your lower back? How about Irony? Do they offer that? Maybe in Sanskrit?

I'll Stop before I offend anyone else.

Out

Tight Rolled Pants

Inspired by the 1980's themed brain storming session I took part in yesterday morning, I offer you the ultimate fluff Independence Day blog entry:

The best Part of the 80's.

The Goonies - Sally got so tired of me renting it, she bought it for me last year as a Valentines Day present.

Due to my love for over the top tributes, my attempt at an over the top Goonies image homage:

Apparently, there were action figures. But, if they weren't offered at K-mart or Sears, they weren't in the Collier house.

Goonies Cartoon

Truffle Shuffle & Grown Up Gonies

Andy....My first and longest lasting movie crush. It was a bitter sweet day when she was replaced by

Haley on The Wizard.

"I love the Power Glove.

It's So Bad. "

Out.

Go here...pray for us...and baby Lando...yes, we're naming our child Lando.

Missions Blog

June...already.....really?

The non stop summer has begun, and I have no delusions that I will pick back up on the regular blogging, but I figured a token effort would suffice for the constant observation (here is your shout out B) of my inconsistent submissions. Since it has been 6 weeks since the last blog, I offer you things that are good in the past 6 weeks, both new and re-discovered.

BOOKS

Why We're Not Emergent
ample stoking for my ever burning firey hot conservative propaganda against the "hip" church.

Marley and Me - read it before you're disappointed by the movie

MUSIC
The new Coldplay album - I'm not feeling the Sgt. Pepper jackets worn on the MTV movie award performance, but a quality product all the same.

John Mayer Trio - Because those of you who hate John Mayer because it's hip to do so need to know that the guy is a sick musician and great song writer. I let this album fall out of regular rotation, but now it's back in. If even after listening to that, and you're still on the fence, watch this and understand my man crush.

TELEVISION

The Best Show on TV

You had me at "Hello Jack"

Out.

9 pm on a week night

And I'm at Starbucks until the over dramatic horde of health and wellness product purchasing ladies leave my house.

So, for the masses - a few things I'm excited about that you too, in my oppinion, should be stoked about as well.

Smart People - I like Dennis Quaid. He won me over in Everybody's All American when I was a kid, and it stuck.

Jack Johnsons New album - just good.

Luke Wilson

being in a movie that isn't another poop sandwich. Maybe?

out

My soap box has been in the shop

4.14 - despite what the date above says..

My friend Colin says that the majority of people who blog spend the vast amount of their literary energy complaining, while my friend Neil thinks everyone who blogs is drastically self absorbed to believe anyone cares what they have to say. I agree with both. I have always been a fan of the status quot, it's how I greased through all levels of school, so why break the cycle now.

My rant today will exceed previous levels of self righteousness and be seasoned with incalculable amounts of vanity.

Can someone explain how and when Christians became:


A.) Incapable of creating our own culture.

Are we as followers of an inconceivably innovative Messiah so hard pressed and desperate to cling to the strands of the pop culture garment, that to prove ourselves relevant to the current ethos that we just carbon copy the most recent trend add "God"or "Jesus" to it and label it "Christian"? I know all of the arguments for providing a safe and positive alternative for kids and teenagers, I do this for a living; but I have to be honest, I'm pretty sure God wouldn't and doesn't want his name associated with some of this garbage.

We need to praise God for companies like Walden Media who partner up to make high end movies to save us from Omega Code 19.


B.) Equally incapable of thinking as individuals.


I'm walking our students through the book of Luke. In chapter 12, the masses following Jesus have surpassed 10,000 people, and Jesus does something that I think had become obsolete in a world of TV preachers
and Prosperity Gospel catastrophe. He takes time to instruct the twelve on how to live amongst reprehensible routine of religion. Before I make myself nauseous with an overload of self righteousness, I'll exit on this; seek out world perspective beyond heinous fact less e-mail forwards, double standard news channels and nebulous tradition.


Out

One more before April

March's last blog consists of me asking you to watch how Sally and I will raise our one day quiver full of children. Watch

Out

like the sands of an hourglass, so are the days of this blog...

Things I'm excited about, that I believe in my heart of hearts you should be excited about too(I always hear people say "heart of hearts" and I have no idea what it means, so I thought I would give it a shot and see if it fits...it doesn't).

Step Brothers - re kindling the magic that is Will Ferrell and John C. Riley.






Astros 2008 - No more Ensberg or Qualls - praise the Father in Heaven.



Kevin Jetton Having teenage boys that will dress as suave as he did.
I think he was the tenor in Color Me Bad


Out

sigh

tear.

Once a week is realistic

Two things roaming the abandoned hallows:


A.) I went to Mexico this weekend to scout a family mission trip. After dozens of trips to border towns, not counting trips in my B.C. days, I have asked the Lord to strip me of pity. It's not pity that glorifies Christ; it's service. Serving those who are part of the same body, covered with the same grace and redeemed by the same Savior. Pity moves you to guilt for what you have and what they don't. Service directs you to humility. Pity drives you to an emotional reaction, while serving allows you to be the practical tool of an empathetic Creator.

B.) My folks were in town last week for my dad's yearly check-up to make sure his cancer is still in remission - which it is - praise God. I took them to the hospital and was sitting in the waiting room with my mom and she asked me why there is such hype over Amy Winehouse. My take is, even though she is a walking train wreck ,

she writes and performs her own music. I think people are nearing burnout on studio created music. Let me throw on my music snob hat, and instruct you to take a break from the heavy rotation of Fergie, T-pain, Sean Kingston and Beyonce and spend a few bucks and download a couple songs from people who write their own music:





out.

Neglected Blog...

Feb 4th, 2008

I should be ashamed of myself for letting 9months go by without a blog; i should... yet I'm not.

Here, in honor of blogs past, the top nine observations weighing & consuming my A.D.D. madula oblingata:

9.) Brittish Humor is profoundly more creative than ours: i.e. - The British and orginal "The Office", Monty Python and the original three Guy Ritchie Movies

8.) Youtube coule be the worst and best invention of all time

7.) Will Ferrell could take a poo on a paper plate, film said poo and garuntee 20 mil opening weekend.

6.) If you have enough money and following of people with the intuition of sheep you can start your own church regardless of theology or call. I know everyone is expecting me to name church's in typical wade form - sorry.

5.) Just because someone is a Christian doesn't mean they are the best choice for the Presidency

4.) Marriage indeed gets better everyday - I don't think my wife even reads this blog, so that can't be consiered sucking up - just truth

3.) Teenagers are dealing with more than my 15 year old heathen mind could have conceived 15 years ago.

2.) Grace has an infinite multitude of humbling layers

1.) If people could divorce religion and church from Christ - a radical reformation would take place.

out.

Proud to be a Houstonian

Even though I have lived here for 22 years, I have never been a huge fan of Houston...until now. Way to go H-town, Dallas can't hold us!

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/R/ROAD_RAGE_RANKINGS?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2007-05-15-05-30-22

The Wendell Baker Story trailer

Ok, Luke wilson might have just brought himself back.

Blonde Ambition Trailer

Proof that Luke Wilson has sold his soul to the devil. Respect level for the Wilsons at a whole new low.

Old man river...

I'm an old man.
I have been told this since I was about ten years old. I'm not too sure exactly what it was about me when I was ten that brought about such accusations, but I'm very aware of what qualifies me as a senior citizen now. Primarily my opinions, interests and general disdain for pop culture. This came up again yesterday in a conversation I was having with a guy from my church. He told me I have "older interests" - translation: Old Fart.

So, in honor of all old young people, the top ten reasons I'm an old man.

10. I listen to NPR religiously

9. I am annoyed by every show on MTV

8. I loathe every show on VH1

7. Given the choice, I will pick an independent movie over a summer blockbuster 9 out of 10

times

6. I think the majority of rap is ignorant and inane - jay-Z, kanye, nas and the roots excluded

5. The West Wing is the best 1 hour drama ever on aired on TV

4. 98% of top 40 DJ's need to be banished to a desolate area and stored in cargo containers like

the obsolete robots in I-Robot

3. If you're 16 and you don't have a job, you're lazy

2. Hot Topic is ridiculous

1. The church is going soft

I'm Going to E-rock tonight for a couple nights of camping. Stay tuned Monday for interesting stories and injury reports

I was watching Letterman last night (Leno make me want to cut my own Achilles heel with a spork from Popeye's) with my friend Colin and Toby McGuire was on. Am I the only one who thinks this guy couldn't seem more disinterested if he tired? I rise above berating someones physical appearance, but Colin wasn't, and since I'm not above transcribing what other people recognize, here are his observations:

Small mouth, weak handshake and middle management haircut.

Colin's a jerk.

What the?

So I have definitely been neglecting the blog. But, I'm back...in black.

Several months ago I wrote about Sally and I looking at houses. We put that on hold for a few months then jumped back in head first at the end of March. After looking at 20 houses in person and 200 online we found "our house".

We close May 17th, and we'll start moving in that weekend. Here's a few more for you to ooh and ahh over.

My friend Kevin, in all of his awesomeness showed me the greatest t-shirt company ever. But since I'm selfish and don't want anyone to have the same t-shirts as me, you only get to see samples, no website for you! Ok, I had a change of heart, if you can spot the website it's free game. It'll be like Where's Waldo.

Out.

You don't always die from tobacco.

Sweet Lord of Hosts

Everybody needs somebody

Just a short update...

I blogged about my boy Bao Xishun saving the lives of dying dolphins back on December 27th. I also mentioned that the 7 foot 9 inch "Don Juan" was looking for a wife. Sorry ladies, he has been roped, hog tied and put out to pasture. A few days ago Bao married 5 foot 6 inch Xia Shujian. We now know there is someone for everyone.

I mean everyone...

aaaaawwwww