I was watching Letterman last night (Leno make me want to cut my own Achilles heel with a spork from Popeye's) with my friend Colin and Toby McGuire was on. Am I the only one who thinks this guy couldn't seem more disinterested if he tired? I rise above berating someones physical appearance, but Colin wasn't, and since I'm not above transcribing what other people recognize, here are his observations:

Small mouth, weak handshake and middle management haircut.

Colin's a jerk.

What the?

So I have definitely been neglecting the blog. But, I'm back...in black.

Several months ago I wrote about Sally and I looking at houses. We put that on hold for a few months then jumped back in head first at the end of March. After looking at 20 houses in person and 200 online we found "our house".

We close May 17th, and we'll start moving in that weekend. Here's a few more for you to ooh and ahh over.

My friend Kevin, in all of his awesomeness showed me the greatest t-shirt company ever. But since I'm selfish and don't want anyone to have the same t-shirts as me, you only get to see samples, no website for you! Ok, I had a change of heart, if you can spot the website it's free game. It'll be like Where's Waldo.

Out.

You don't always die from tobacco.

Sweet Lord of Hosts

Everybody needs somebody

Just a short update...

I blogged about my boy Bao Xishun saving the lives of dying dolphins back on December 27th. I also mentioned that the 7 foot 9 inch "Don Juan" was looking for a wife. Sorry ladies, he has been roped, hog tied and put out to pasture. A few days ago Bao married 5 foot 6 inch Xia Shujian. We now know there is someone for everyone.

I mean everyone...

aaaaawwwww

New Blog Motivation

I think I am going to need to start laying down a blog on a more regular basis. If nothing else, a hodgepodge of thougts, regurgitated readings and ridiculos expereinces; if for no other reason than to keep my wife from having to hear ALL of my absurd rantings on all of the stuff I inhale throughout the day.

Here are a few things that have risen to the top with me in the past few weeks.

First off, a self centered chart topper:

I spend way too much time in my own head. I don't know how many people stll watch Scrubs,

I think it's beginging to fade off the radar. I still dig it, but I seem to have an un canny knack to build an affinity for shows that are doomed for cancelation. i.e. Studio 60, 4 Kings and Boomtown

If you can relate > http://www.brilliantbutcanceled.com/

All that to say, on Scrubs, half of the show is Zach Braff's inner monologue. I feel like that's me. Not so much with the hip moosed hair and awkwardly big lips, but I live in my head. I'm not sure what that's all about. If I read something engaging, I will walk circles around it in my head for hours. I do that with conversations as well. I don't have an obsessive desire to go back and change what I did or didn't say, I just run the replay. Now I'm trying to figure out why I felt the need to write this?

Back story on my second life revelation:

John Piper hosts an annual Pastors conference in Minnesota each year. I have never been, and now that it has become the trendy thing to do, not sure if I can force my anti commonplace/rebellious/cynical/jaded ego to make the pilgrimage. I have a hard enough time reading his books. Not because the man isn't a humble genius and his understanding and interpretation of scripture blows my freaking skirt up, but because I wanna vomit due to the fact that the 20 something ministry types sip coffee and regurgitate his personally theology like it's their own then attempt to judge me because I won't take part in that thrill a minute keebler elf mental giant exchange. I'm a jerk. Anyway, I have allowed myself to sidetrack.....imagine that.

Piper preaches biographical sermons at the conference, and before Amazing Grace came out I listened to his sermon on William Wilberforce. Piper justly refers to Wilberforce as a "Big Soul". I have been camped out with that term for over a month now. I let that term marinate as I read through the book of Hebrews. The author of Hebrews lists of their hall of Fame of big souls in Hebrews 11.

As I read the stories of these big souls, taught my students the 3 references to Abraham in the hall of faith and marveled at Moses and Noah, I have been burdened to surround myself with Big Souls.

I sat with Uncle in New Mexico two weeks ago whose body is rapidly giving way to cancer overrunning his body . I actually sat between my dad and my uncle, who is my dad's oldest brother. I listened as they told stories of growing up in the depression with no running water, electricity or assurance of the next meal. Memories of picking cotton at the age of 6, and CONSTANT references to the grace, deliverance, sovereignty and power of God.

Dan Collier (My Dad) Home Collier (My Uncle)

Big Souls.

Where to start

It's been two weeks since my last blog, which if I did this for a living would translate to iminate termination. But thankfully- this is not my job. However, I will dedicate this blog to people who do a crack job!

James Cameron:

Here's to you. You made one "blockbuster" movie, that in my humble opinion was criminally overhyped. But, to your credit you made enough money and celebrity to spend the past 10 years convincing companies to fund your Steve Zissou like mini sub expeditions. Don't worry, we won't leave out your executive producer title for the monumental FBI/Surfer Bank Robber masterpiece Point Break. Now, however, you have reached you panicle. You have indisputable evidence that Jesus and Mary were married, AND they had a son. Thanks James - I am so "convinced " ( they don't have a sarcastic font, or I would have used it there.) http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23386857-details/I

Louis Farrakhan

You crazy crazy S.O.B.!

I don't have one item in particular to salute you for, jut simply your compilation of K-razy reversed racism rants, anti goverenment propaganda, and delicious bow ties! You're stepping down as the Leader of The Nation of Islam this week...you will be missed....I'm assuming.

In the Category of most predictable Train Wreck:

Britany Spears - I don't even have to write anything - the G.I> Jane pic says it all.

Daniel Radcliffe : Way to traumatize children by transforming from sweet innocent wizard in the Harry Potter films to Horse "Loving" dude on stage in Eguus.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yikes.

Everybody's Gotta Pay