Where to start

It's been two weeks since my last blog, which if I did this for a living would translate to iminate termination. But thankfully- this is not my job. However, I will dedicate this blog to people who do a crack job!

James Cameron:

Here's to you. You made one "blockbuster" movie, that in my humble opinion was criminally overhyped. But, to your credit you made enough money and celebrity to spend the past 10 years convincing companies to fund your Steve Zissou like mini sub expeditions. Don't worry, we won't leave out your executive producer title for the monumental FBI/Surfer Bank Robber masterpiece Point Break. Now, however, you have reached you panicle. You have indisputable evidence that Jesus and Mary were married, AND they had a son. Thanks James - I am so "convinced " ( they don't have a sarcastic font, or I would have used it there.) http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23386857-details/I

Louis Farrakhan

You crazy crazy S.O.B.!

I don't have one item in particular to salute you for, jut simply your compilation of K-razy reversed racism rants, anti goverenment propaganda, and delicious bow ties! You're stepping down as the Leader of The Nation of Islam this week...you will be missed....I'm assuming.

In the Category of most predictable Train Wreck:

Britany Spears - I don't even have to write anything - the G.I> Jane pic says it all.

Daniel Radcliffe : Way to traumatize children by transforming from sweet innocent wizard in the Harry Potter films to Horse "Loving" dude on stage in Eguus.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yikes.

Everybody's Gotta Pay

Big weekend. Manning is golden. Golden.

I don't care if you think he is too hyped. One, if you believe that, you're a moron. Two, hype or no hype, one of the most amazing comebacks ever. I think Urlacher and the Chicago D can be the best in the NFL but they are going to get stomped.

I filled up this morning for $1.96 a gallon. Thanks Kroger Plus Card! When I first started driving gas was 86 cents a gallon at the Texaco by our house. My truck had a 15 gallon tank and got crazy gas mileage. My 30 hour work week check from K-mart went crazy far then. I can't imagine people grinding away for minimum wage now.

I have been thinking about my first car today. Here's how that story goes.

My brother turned 16 in 1986. After he got his license (in our house you couldn't take drivers ed until you had already turned 16, and you had to take it through the high school - complete with the driving simulator located in the single wide trailer behind the school) he got a 84 Toyota Tacoma.

Pretty Marty McFly.

Two years later, my sister turns 16. She suffers through the film strip simulator via the mildew fragranced trailer. Her reward: The sweet 91 Ford Festiva dream machine.

Which now retails for a pocket busting $490-$650. Should have held on to that beast; it could turn a bigger prophet than Desert Storm Trading Cards - someone stole my Wolf Blitzer. It unfortunately met it's demise through the back end of a Chevy 3500 diesel monster that folded the Festiva up like an accordion. I didn't turn 16 for another 5 years. What happened in those five years you ask? After my sisters Festiva met an ugly and untimely end, she got a used Nissan Sentra. In all fairness, it wasn't a good car to start out with, but the electrical system eventually burnt up and was no more. Now in college, dear old dad got her a turquoise Pontiac Lamanse, which was a product of the "How about all auto makers make really bad hatchbacks" trend. After she ran it into the ground, she eventually inherited my parents Eddie Bower Ford Explorer. From there she was on her own to purchase transportation. My brother drove the Tacoma into the early years of college where he decided it wasn't necessary to change the oil....ever; which subsequently sent his engine to the junk yard in the sky. My folks gave him their old sedan which he drove several years before eventually being on his own and buying his own car.

Why did I feel the need to tell you all of this? When I was 16, I assumed the trend of gifting a car to the 16 year old child would continue with the youngest son. I had several back issues of "Auto Trader" and had highlighted several items of interest for my dad. I was informed that my option for a vehicle was that I could buy my dad's truck from him. Yea, that's right, BUY his OLD truck. I wasn't as put off about having to buy my own car, I have always been pretty self sufficient, but the fact I had no choice of what to buy. My first taste of Communism. Brutal. So from 94-98 I drove the Blue Barron. 1989 Chevy s-10

Jealous?

Two blogs in one week...who knew?

As if I needed another reason to loose respect for/hate/wish a painful death of wrathful flying monkeys on Barry Bonds. If they are gonna black ball McGuireand the continue to let this moron play... http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/487795p-410640c.html - I might have to boycott pro baseball and find refuge in the college ranks like I have with football and basketball.

In other news. Looks like the marathon dream is dead....at least for now. Unbeknownst to most everyone, I had been training for the Austin marathon. But, it seems I have developed a premature type of tendon and joint arthritis. So I have cut the running in half and started swimming and biking and lifting again this week. Sprint Triathlon season starts back up again this spring, so I think that might be the new adventure. I have been looking into training regiments and this Korean sub-zero training seems to be the most time to result beneficial.

I'm on it.

Ever have a story to tell that is so ridiculous you just can't can't paraphrase?

A group of us left Saturday the 30th for a ski trip in Breckenridge. The thought was, if we leave Dallas early enough (5am), we can get checked into our condo, go grocery shopping and pick up our equipment rentals that night, so we would be good to go first thing the next morning.

We stopped in Amarillo for lunch (we ate at Subway, although the 72 ounce steak did sound appealing). and we were making record time, but as we got just North of Amarillo we started seeing signs that the road was closed due to weather about 90 miles north of where we were. My friend Jimmy and his Fiance where already in Colorado and sitting in front of a computer, so I designated him Goose to my Maverick. He would periodically call me with updated road reports/closures from the D.O.T. as I was leading the caravan of death through the frozen tundra. For about two hours we were flying north west, attempting to swing around the road closures while making northern progress. We then were thrown a dirty curve ball. We had traveled so far into the middle of nowhere that we were left with only one option to head north. It was "closed". We decided that closed was relative and we headed down the "closed" road.
I was on less than a quarter tank of gas, no problem since the next town was in 19 miles, and the first two miles of closed road were in better condition than the open roads we took to get this far. Within the next mile the road turned AWFUL. More awful than that..the next town didn't exist, then town that was 10 miles past that, Amistad, wasn't as much of a town as it was a cultish compound consisting of a Methodist church, a 1a high school and no gas station. Excellent. We reached the point of no return, were forced to turn around by the snow plow company, and found refuge with a farmer named Chuck. This all had the makings of incredible horror movie. Chuck ended up being one of the nicest men I have ever met. Even when we knocked on his door during an ice storm. He found an old hose in his hog barn, helped us syphon gas from Chris' truck into mine. We thanked him for his time and headed back the way we came. There was a hotel in the town we came from, where we could bunker down for the night and wait out the storm. But oh no my friend, we were on a quest. So we got the latest road reports and spent the next 6 hours zig zagging through Texas and New Mexico. At 11 pm, after MANY attempts to make our way onto I-25 and becoming honorary members of the tucker sub-culture via a Love's Truck Stop, we got locked down in Las Vegas. No, not that Vegas, Las Vegas New Mexico. No hotels to be had by that time, so we found uncomfortable cots and grumpy old volunteers at

the make shift Red Cross shelter in the local elementary school.

The story gets exceedingly less interesting from 4 am the next morning on. They did have delecious Daylight Donuts

for us as we headed out to find open highways.

Highlights of the rest of the trip: my friend Chris fell so hard he had to be taken down the mountain by ski patrol on one of those rad little sleds and we watched Boise State amazingly upset Oklahoma.

I hope next years trip provides a little excitement.

I'm officially closer to 30 than 25. A little depressing yes, but I woke up this morning feeling a little more distinguished. Could just be a 9 meal a day hangover from the long weekend though...I'll let you know.

So what have you done to prove yourself as a animal activist? Bet it's not as cool as my

boy Bao Xishun.

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/10532149/detail.html#

I opened a lobster trap and released them back into the ocean once. I fear that might not be near as impressive.

After reading the story of Bao saving the dolphins, I googled him. Apparently he's in the market for a lady friend. Well. here you go ladies - the worlds tallest man, and evidently he's quite the suave dresser.

Look out ladies!

Concert and family reviews coming later in the week.

I got pulled over by this guy the other day.

It obviously wasn't this exact cop. That would be pretty sweet if it was. But this is basically him. Same sweet glasses. I deserved the ticket. I was speeding. I was aware of this at the time. By the time he got to my window I had my license and insurance out. I broke the "law", I get a ticket. So I figured my expediting the process would make me and Ponch square. But hey, captain power trip instead harassed me about my drivers license address not matching my insurance address. Again, I was in the wrong. I should have changed it the past 16 months since we have lived in our new place. I hadn't, cite m if you need to. I deserve it. What do I not need? To be berated by a man with a moustache. I made a witty comment that should have landed me in handcuffs. But, it didn't. I'm happy. I don't want to go to jail...again. What? Anyway - moral of the story? I have no idea. But cops make me laugh. I respect the heck out of them-but they make me laugh.

Other new developments in life:

I am going snowboarding in two weeks. Pretty stoked. I haven't been in 5 years. Last time I went I broke my foot. It was not what you might call an enjoyable time. This could be a long story, I won't bore you. The highlight of the story. While snowboarding home from work one day I broke my foot. Since snowboarding was an Interregnal part of my job, my services were no longer needed so I packed up, caught a ride home from a group of friends from college who happened to be skiing in the next town over, and headed home. All of the cars in the caravan o' rich kids were full except for a Tahoe with two girls I didn't know and due to the excruciating pain in my foot, I had no desire to get to know. I was faced with a dilemma. My foot was throbbing like the dickens, and I wasn't in the mood to make fifteen hours of small talk with two girls whose dad paid not only for their $900 ski's locked into the roof rack up top, but the $35,000 Tahoe the rack was attached to. Solution: I told the girls that the Dr.'s in Vail gave me some really strong medication that made me incredibly drowsy, so if it was OK with them I would just sleep in the back. So to effectively enact my ruse, at the first gas stop, after paying for their tank of gas I took five Nyquil's. (don't try this at home - a mere mortal could die) Legend/rumor is I snored from Denver to Dallas. Don't be jealous.